Tantra and the Self

How many selves do you have? 

We probably all have multiple selves, different versions of our self that emerge at different times and in different circumstances, and understanding these different selves can be a lifetime endeavour. But what can we learn from them? What does Tantra teach us?

It may change in the future, but right now, I can identify three different versions of my self: the extrovert, the introvert and the shadow. And they are in constant conflict.

The extrovert skates along on the surface, making friends and flowing with the mainstream. The extrovert is a bit of a fool, but generally quite happy-go-lucky. But the shadow is always trying to disrupt the extrovert, to pull them beneath the surface and drown them in negativity. The shadow is a place of self-loathing and worthlessness. Dark thoughts roam in the shadow. 

But then there is the introvert. The introvert works hard to counter the shadow. Anything that can be classed as an “achievement” was probably the work of the introvert. But, despite all the introvert’s best work, the shadow persists. Which means the introvert is forever changing the medicine, searching for a permanent cure. Sometimes it’s fitness, sometimes intellect, sometimes even relationships. The problem is, the introvert often has to call upon the skillset of the extrovert to get things done. They have to make an alliance to try to defeat the shadow, but as the extrovert re-asserts it’s self the shadow inevitably returns.

According to non-dual Tantra our individual selves are emanations of the single universal self, and so perhaps it is possible to learn something about universal truths through our own multiplicity. Perhaps the universe itself is one of multiple identities, sometimes competing, sometimes cooperating, each fueling its own perpetuation. 

Perhaps the universe itself continuously expands in extraversion and withdraws in introversion. Perhaps in its expansion, manifestation creates the seeds of doubt and self destruction that try to undermine existence itself. Perhaps withdrawal is the only antidote to utter obliteration, but withdrawal cannot exist in isolation - for there to be withdrawal there must be expansion, and with that comes the risk of self destruction.

Perhaps these are the forces of the universe that we each carry within us.

But Tantra teaches us something else about the self. Tantra teaches that much of what we consider as our self has been socially constructed. Certainly we see this in the extrovert, the populist performer pretending at normality. But if we are to know our true selves, then we should abandon these constructs - philosophically (and perhaps literally!) unclothe ourselves. 

So, what would happen then? What would happen if we abandoned the extrovert? Would the shadow cease to exist without a nemesis to foil? And what then of the introvert? Without a shadow to dispel would the introvert also disappear? And what would be left behind?

Is this the truth that sits beneath the universe? The stillness that exists outside of time and space, the void of the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra that can be glimpsed through meditation? Here then, as we study our selves, as we observe our selves, we observe the Tantric universe. We see our selves in everything that surrounds us, a competing and ever-shifting blend of extroversion, introversion and destruction. So perhaps we should follow the guidance of the Vijnana Bhairava Tantra: observe our environment, observe ourselves, and seek the stillness that is common to all.